JAC has been incredibly lucky with meeting amazing and sweet brides that we’ve become friends with. J and I kept exclaiming “we’re SO lucky that all our brides are so awesome!”  Well, our luck went through a detour after our very first horrible Bridezilla experience just last weekend.

To make it worse, I read her awful email right as I was stepping out for Sunday church service. The preachings of “love and patience” collided with my desire to want to fire back at her snarky email to explain in DETAIL why she was in the wrong. (In my eyes of course) I even for a split second thought about creating a website/blog where wedding vendors can warn each other and post up future Bridezillas with their wedding date so we know who to avoid. (IS there such thing?!)

BUT…. we just let it go. We shall TRY to be classy and let our last email (which was extremely cordial and apologetic) be the last word she hears from us, even though she threatened to ruin our reputation and tell the whole world that we suck balls.

Instead, I will write a sample letter that I would have loved to write. It’s a bit dramatic, purely for entertainment sake

Dear Bridezilla,

I know how you must be feeling. Planning a wedding is difficult and emotional, I can understand that. I’m not sure that taking the time to “ruin” our reputation would be efficient in your wedding planning, seeing that there are other very important things in your life to be done. Although I know the burden, I don’t ever think there is a good reason to want to burn bridges, especially when the other party has apologized many times.

“First come first serve” always sucks for the person who isn’t first. But there is no reason to be a poor sport and call that greedy. (In fact, you had 9 services and the bride who overtook your wedding date had only 4 services… How is that greedy?) The “justice system” we set up has to be followed strictly, otherwise what reason would we have to bend the rules for one person vs. another? It may not be fair to you, but it is fair in the long run.

It’s very strange that you cannot read back to old emails where we clearly discuss those things you blame us not ever mentioning. Umm hello, don’t you have Gmail? Gmail is lovely for keeping a tidy chain of old emails. How about fact checking before you go on a lil tantrum?

I’m intrigued that among all the things you must do to prepare for a day of love and happiness, you instead fill your hours with evil plotting to ruin a very simple company of 2 young gals.  Or as you said in your own words “our disgusting business practice.” The wedding day may be a show– a performance. But the loveliness and quality of character really shows in the beginning and aftermath of every performance.

Peace out Bridezilla, and I thank our lucky stars that we are not affiliated with you in any other way on Earth of this lifetime.

(C-walking and breakdancing happens… now!)